OF HELP
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BACK COVER BLURB Raped at knifepoint from an early age by someone who should have loved you, someone who professed to believe in God, is about as gruesome as it can get. Psychologically some pretty extraordinary things happen or don’t happen to your young mind in order to survive and cope. Marion Young tells her story as it flashes back to her, but provides far more than a sad tale. This book contributes to our knowledge of the internal wars and confusion about personal boundaries which take place in those who have suffered abuse. Mental health professionals, family and friends of abused individuals and the survivors of mental, physical and sexual abuse themselves will all glean powerful and helpful information from this account. Perhaps the most remarkable message of all that is poured out in this book is the comfort, hope and healing, which Marion has found through a down to earth, honest and simple faith that somehow found a way to grow in these harsh conditions. Marion’s connection with her Maker (the only sane one in the Universe) has provided her with an outside dependable source, who could provide the truth about her as she grappled with a family which was unstable, unpredictable and justified actions through great twists of thinking. Thanks for your bravery Marion. You have contributed to our understanding of the amazing mechanisms of the psyche and the quest for life and truth in this incredible account of your life. Toni Mehigan – Psychologist |
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“Enthralling. Didn’t want to put it down” Gay, Vic “Raw honesty. Well done.” ‘Bear’, NSW “Open. Candid. Honest. Your courage makes a way for others, like myself, to acknowledge and to own the reality of our own history; to begin the process of regaining that which seems to have been completely lost, and maybe move towards some hope and even freedom.” Stella, Qld “Marvellous. I felt that you were there talking to me.” Janet Durie, Vic “Highly readable, warm and engaging … this is one woman’s story of her life and freedom from the effects of child sexual abuse.” Allison, Qld “Marion’s soul was a place of devastation. A father’s ‘love’ gone wrong! Few recover from such a place! There is a message of hope as Marion’s healing journey unfolds! John Elias, Pastor and Director, Freedom House Ministries, Mackay, Qld “Gripping. You articulated things that I haven’t yet been able to put into words.” Catherine, Qld “You’ve spoken for the many silent sufferers.” Wendy
Park, Restoration Ministries, Brisbane, Qld Marianna, Vic
“I
saw your book at the library and enjoyed reading it and the message
of hope it gives for families confronting sexual abuse.”
Colin, Qld “Enjoyed your book immensely and was able to relate to much of what you went through. I admire your bravery and dedication in writing this book … may much seed be sown and good fruit produced.” Sharon, Qld “I’d like to take my hat off to you, for having written your book. It’s hard not to relate to your story. It sure brings back a lot of memories for me. I read some. I cry some. I think about it all day, that I’m not the only one this has happened to. I did a lot of things you did and wondered about them too and now I can understand why I did the things I did. So I just want to say thank you for having the guts to do it. I know I couldn’t. Reading your book helped me in lots of ways so a great big THANK YOU.” Chris, Qld “It was amazing that your book should land on my doorstep, so to speak, just now. I recently began working in child protection and it has given me a glimpse into the lives of those who are carrying their secret. It will help me to understand, and hopefully help them on their journey.” Martine, Qld “I think it must have taken a lot of courage to write this book and to survive everything as well as you did. I also didn’t realise until reading your book that some of the things that happened when I was a child were emotional abuse – I just thought it was normal and it must have been my fault somehow, ie. I was “too naughty” or “too slow to understand” or whatever.
“I
like it that you just said what worked for you without trying to
force any particular viewpoint upon other people. Unfortunately,
some self-help books do dictate to their readers what they have to do
to be “cured.” I think it’s much more
realistic that you said
it is a day-to-day process in coping and some days will be better
than others.”
Carmel, Qld |
FOREWORD Many of the books that tell the stories of abuse have an angry and ‘victim’ ring to them that can leave readers feeling in touch with their rage, but no further along the road to health. This book is different. It tells a tale of shocking sexual, physical and psychological abuse, and none of the trauma of the abuse or of the unhelpful reactions from society are minimised. Yet the story is told with restraint and dignity. Marion Young points us to the ideas, beliefs, processes and sorts of people who are helpful when someone has been maimed by abuse. The book is a history of Australia’s attitudes to sexual abuse over the last five decades – written by someone who had to deal with each passing stage of our national wake up call to the crippling disgrace of abuse. In Tell No Secrets readers will meet a warm, real human being. Marion can laugh at herself, and has been brave enough to tell the unadorned truth – not so much about what happened – but about her own inner journey to adulthood and hope. The journey is intimate, difficult, and yet points to happy endings. Marion hasn’t got all of her happy ending together yet, but she is well down that road and ready to reach back to encourage others who could use a travelling companion. Rev.
Mike Smith
My pet hate with books of this sort is the impression I often get on completion, that if only I applied the same principles to my life, then I’d also be healed and whole. With that in mind, I want to blow apart a myth. That myth is that I have ‘made it’ and that I’m here to show you the formula. We are all so different, both in our life experiences, how we responded to them at the time and how we recover from them. This is not a formula book. It is a book about journey, my journey, and my goal is to journey with people via various means, the details of which will be regularly updated on my website: www.journeytobeme.com.au My journey has taught me many things that I consider worth sharing with others. I hope that you will discover many things as you read this book and, at least, not feel so alone in your journey. For this journey from damaged child to a getting-to-be-whole adult is essentially a lonely one. Nobody but our Maker can know us in our deepest depths. I am not a mental health professional, and cannot replace them. Their role is different to my role. I have longed for simple answers, as I think we all do, but I’ve preferred real answers. Every now and then, the ‘simple’ can also be ‘real’. For example, one thought process can bind you up and great freedom is found when that thought process is changed. It is my hope that you will find some insights that bring you greater freedom as you read this book. You may be like me and have heard many times, “Just put it behind you and get on with your life”. Hey, if it works, do it, but it hasn’t worked for me. You may be someone who has said that to another person. This book will encourage you to take a less ‘simple’ road with yourself and others. Many of my adult experiences were very common, but my ability to deal with them wasn’t. In relationships and circumstances I often struggled to know which way was up. I have been fortunate in that I have not had major dramas in adulthood, yet the effects of abuse remained and ‘darkened’ my life. As you read, you may wonder when you will hear about the details of the abuse. I decided to write about it as it was remembered, not as it happened, although some details are revealed in the reflective pieces at the beginning of some of the chapters. Apart from things like being forced to sit on his knee, I had no memories of sexual abuse from my father until after he died, when I was thirty-one. But the story won’t be slow until then, because there were other abusers along the way, including a Christian leader, as well as my ongoing emotionally turbulent relationship with Dad. I cannot guarantee the accuracy of my recollections and my responses to them, but my aim has been to write a true account of my life and my struggle to survive. |
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